The Zen Kitchen

Why not getting backrubs is sometimes okay

If there is one thing I am an expert at, its feeling sorry for myself. I really wish I understood why I have this mindset which focuses on the negativity in my life, but without a doubt it is there and it is powerful. I fight against it, I search for the positive, and more and more lately I've been successful in this fight. But, eventually, the negativity wins out, and I have to start over again crawling out of the hole I dig for myself again and again.

For the past couple of years, this negativity has been focused on the people - or more accurately the lack thereof - in my life. Over and over again with friends and coworkers when they mention something about a loved one caring for them when they're sick or saying they're going to demand a backrub when they get home to relieve stress or talking about their sex life, my immediate response, whether vocalized or not, is along the lines of an incredibly sarcastic "must be nice."

Then the other day, I was speaking to one of my bosses at work. She was asking how my weekend was, and I mentioned that it was more or less uneventful. I really just fooled around on my computer and watch a movie and the like. When I asked her if she'd done anything fun with her weekend, I was met with a long rant about how she didn't have time for fun. How her day every day was taken up by cleaning up after her family, taking her father to doctor's visits, grocery shopping, and the long typical to do list.

We've had this conversation before, but for some reason it really impacted me this time. I may not have anyone I can turn to for support on a regular basis, but I also don't have the responsibilities that come with that. I'm free.

I'm not saying one way or the other is necessarily better than the other. Far from it. Lonliness is a horrible thing to have to deal with on a day to day basis. However, I can do what I want when I want, and there is nobody who will complain when I do, and noone (aside from work) that I have to feel any obligation to. And there is something to be said for that, as well. Quite a lot to be said for it.

The grass is always greener... as they say. Its a cliche' we're taught as children, but one we all too often forget. This time, at least for this particular instance, I won't be forgetting. I think its something my mind has been trying to tell me for some time, after all, I picked out "My Life" as one of my personal theme songs at my karaoke nights some time ago. But, my mind was trying to beat me over the head with the lesson, and I tend to be stubborn when people beat things into me, especially myself. I hope its happy that happenstance finally got the message through.

Now, onto the movie of the... whatever time period I choose to write my blog over -

Casino Royale

I'm sure most people have heard the hype about this film by now. I'm a little behind the curve in finally seeing it, but if you haven't yet, let me assure you that all the hype is true. Second only to "Who is your favorite Beatle?" is probably "Who is your favorite Bond?" in the office cooler mass opinion poll that centers on personality and how that affects the people you feel drawn to.
My answer is no longer Sean Connery.

Casino Royale completely reinvents the Bond franchise while still remaining a true Bond movie in every way. The campiness and silliness are gone, the gadgets are cutting edge but very much real, the villain has true motivations, and Bond seems more like an actual spy than a superhero who traded in his spandex for a tuxedo. Yet the film and the character still retain the charm and ideologies that have kept Bond as an icon for the past 30 odd years. One of my favorite throw away scenes in the film is when Bond walks up to the bar and asks for a martini. "Would you like that shaken or stirred?" the bartender asks. "Why on Earth would I give a damn?" This one small scene shows that the creators of the film know that Bond needed a face lift, but that they hadn't forgotten their roots.

This film also has a strong theme unlike most others in the franchise which just have campy fun with the situations and characters. Bond falls madly and completely in love, and goes so far as to give his resignation to MI6 so that he can be with this woman without endangering her. I won't say how this ultimately plays out, though I think most people can make an educated guess, but ultimately, we see Bond learn a lesson about trust, obligation, and motivation. Its not the deepest moral ever taught in a film, but when was the last time we saw a Bond film that worried about morality, at all?

Until next time,

Shaun

"Lately, do I seem a little crazy to you?"
"What do you mean 'lately?'"

posted by Shaun @ 9:10 PM